


A Shadow

by myth_taken



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-09
Updated: 2017-06-09
Packaged: 2018-11-12 05:06:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11154849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myth_taken/pseuds/myth_taken
Summary: “And, for the record, that whole thing about being gay? The A there doesn’t even stand for Angel. It’s Anita, the charming exchange student at school, who is very hot and has way more muscles than you, and the whole fantasy thing was--”--AU where everything is the same but Angel is a butch lesbian. (Also, Dawn is there.) Inspired by wyndamnpryce on Tumblr.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I originally marked this as just one chapter. It's not; it's going to be multichaptered.

Buffy was straight. She _was_. She liked men. They were cute. She had often looked at men and thought that they looked good. 

So why did she look at Angel and think she looked _better_?

“I don’t get it,” she said to Willow one day. “How does she look so good? I’m pretty sure it’s illegal for a girl to look that good with guy hair. Right?”

Willow just nodded along.

“I mean, I don’t want to look like that,” Buffy clarified. “But it’s just a really good look. And Angel looks particularly good with it.”

“You sure are talking a lot about this Angel,” Willow said. “If she weren’t a girl, I’d think you were into her.”

Buffy laughed. “Yeah, right. She just, you know, is really good with hair gel. I’m impressed.”

But later that night, watching Xander try to pick up girls at the Bronze, Buffy wondered. She felt really _good_ when she thought about Angel. In a weird way. Especially for someone she barely knew.

She didn’t wonder for long, though, until Xander came back to her, and Willow showed up, and she got caught up in conversation. Still, Angel was stuck in the back of her mind. Or, at least, stuck in the back until she actually showed up in front of Buffy.

Xander gestured over Buffy’s shoulder, and Buffy turned around, and suddenly she felt warm inside. She heard Xander saying something about how Angel made the boy thing look hot, and Willow saying something about how she didn’t think boys were what Angel was looking for, but Buffy tuned them out in favor of walking across the floor to where Angel was standing.

Suddenly, Buffy was annoyed. Angel was pretty, sure, or handsome or whatever, but she still hadn’t talked to Buffy. She was still mysterious and annoying as hell. And she was making Buffy’s life all confusing.

“Look at that,” she said. “You do have a social life.”

“Just you,” Angel said.

Buffy rolled her eyes. “Well, I’d say it’s nice to see you, but that’d be a bit misleading.”

“I won’t stay long.”

“Long enough for a cryptic warning, I hope,” Buffy said. “You know how much I love those.”

“You’re cold,” Angel said.

“Pretty sure you can take it.”

“No.” Angel started shrugging out of her jacket. “I mean, you look cold.” Angel stepped closer to Buffy and slid the jacket around her.

Buffy pushed her arms through the sleeves. “Thanks.” She realized she hadn’t seen Angel’s arms before. Of course, they had muscles. Angel just _had_ to have muscles. And also some really painful-looking clawmarks. “What happened?”

Angel looked at her arm like it was nothing. “Wasn’t looking.”

A cryptic warning later, Buffy was standing alone in the Bronze, watching Angel walk away. She really _was_ cute. And her muscles were _so_ big. Buffy considered herself a pretty muscled girl, and _she_ thought Angel was ripped.

Buffy went back to her friends, and the next time she saw Angel, it was in the Bronze again, and Angel seemed to step out of nowhere. She still had muscles, though. Some really big muscles. Buffy almost forgot to talk because she was so busy thinking about the muscles.

But then she realized that if she wanted to see more of the muscles (which she kind of did, despite her best efforts not to), she had to say _something_ , so she opened her mouth, but Angel beat her to it.

“Heard there’s one less vampire out there because of you.”

“Yeah,” Buffy said. “Thanks.”

“For?” God, even her weird smirk was hot.

“You know.” When Angel didn’t answer, Buffy rolled her eyes. “The warning.”

“My pleasure.” The weird smirk _wasn’t going away._ Buffy was really going to need to have a major crisis when this conversation was over.

“You know, it’d be easier if I had a way to contact you,” Buffy said.

The smirk got _worse_. “I’ll be around.”

There was an awkward silence. Buffy started to shrug off Angel’s jacket. “You can have this back.”

“It looks better on you.”

 _God_ , Angel was infuriating. She made Buffy so _angry_ . Here Buffy was, trying to return Angel’s jacket in _good faith_ , and Angel was _refusing to take it_.

But then Angel put her hand on the jacket, and therefore on Buffy’s collarbone, ostensibly to help Buffy to pull it back on, and Buffy felt a tingle she had never gotten when a boy had touched her.

She ignored it and stepped back. A sense of loss hung in the air for a moment. And then Angel turned and walked away. Buffy watched her go, her hand floating to the cross at her neck.

It was a couple of weeks before Angel showed up again. When she did, Buffy was on a date for once, and she saw Angel walking towards her, and then she saw Cordelia in the corner of her eye, walking towards Angel. She got a moment of satisfaction when Angel got to her first. The moment was snatched away when she realized the two reasons Cordelia could have been walking towards Angel: either Cordelia thought Angel was a hot guy, or Cordelia wanted to harass Angel for _dressing_ like a hot guy.

She muttered, “Cordelia incoming,” and pulled Angel behind a pole.

“What’s a Cordelia?” Angel asked.

“Pray you never have to find out.”

“I was hoping I would find you here.”

“Really?” Buffy hated how hopeful her voice sounded.

“Yeah. Some important things happening tonight.”

Buffy sighed. “And here I thought you liked me for my intellect.” She turned to walk away, but Angel caught her arm.

“Wait. What do you know?”

“Lots of stuff. For example, I know that two plus two is four, and that four plus four is eight.”

Angel’s face settled into annoyance. “You know what I mean.”

“Yeah. Prophecy, Master, Anointed One, whatever.” Buffy almost laughed at how disappointed Angel looked.

“Oh. So you already know.”

“Yes. And if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to enjoy the rest of my date.” Buffy looked around for Owen and saw him coming towards her. “Who is coming right over here. Why is my life like this?”

Owen handed Buffy a drink. “Hey.”

“Hey.” Buffy looked back at Angel. “Angel, this is Owen. My date.”

There was some small talk, during which Angel looked increasingly uncomfortable, and then Willow and Xander ran up, and Buffy was back on duty.

A few days later, Willow asked Buffy about Angel at lunch.

“Is she, like, gay or something?”

Buffy shrugged. “I don’t know. Mostly she’s just annoying. And I think Cordelia’s going after her.”

“ _Cordelia’s_ gay?” Willow asked, surprise on her face.

“Oh. I hadn’t thought of that. I just assumed she thought Angel was a boy. Or, like, she was going to give her a hard time.” She paused. “Which, by the way, Angel deserves. But not for dressing like that.”

Willow looked around and leaned in. “Are _you_ gay?” she whispered.

Buffy sighed. “I don’t know. I thought I liked boys, but Angel has a _lot_ of muscles.”

“Do you want to date her?”

Buffy couldn’t answer. She decided for a rapid subject change. “So, how about that weird… demon… thing?” With all the weird demon things around Sunnydale, she was sure one of them would be relevant to the conversation.

And then Angel was out of sight, out of mind for a while, except without the out of mind part, because Buffy absolutely could not stop thinking about her. Maybe she _was_ gay. Did that mean she was going to have to start dressing like Angel? Because she was _not_ into the weird boy pants look. Not on herself, anyway.

One night, Buffy was fighting a vampire, and then Angel was suddenly also fighting the vampire, and then there were more vampires, and Angel got hurt, and suddenly Buffy realized she was scared. Which was dumb, because she barely knew Angel. But, still, this girl was suddenly bleeding, and it was partially Buffy’s fault, since Angel had jumped in to defend her.

So Buffy ran with Angel to her house, and rushed her in, yelling when Angel hesitated at the door. Once Angel was through, she slammed the door shut and leaned against it, breathing heavily. “Do I have to hold this all night?”

Angel took her hand and pulled her away from the door. “Vampires can’t get in unless you invite them.”

“Oh. So that’s one of the true ones.” Buffy moved away from the door. “How’s your side?”

Angel looked down at it and shrugged.

“That bad, huh?”

Angel did something with her mouth that Buffy thought might have been almost a smile.

“Okay. I’ll find some bandages. You’re going to have to take your shirt off. Sorry.”

A moment later, Buffy was in the kitchen, holding a first aid kit, faced with _all_ of Angel’s muscles, and also… a tattoo? Weird.

Out loud, all she said was, “Nice tattoo.”

“Thanks.”

Buffy moved in and started tending to the wound. Angel’s torso was warm and a little soft.

To distract herself, she started babbling. “So. I was lucky you were there to get those vamps.” A pause. Angel didn’t say anything, and Buffy was going to get seriously creepy about touching Angel if she didn’t talk more. Plus, she had questions. “So, how come you were there?”

“I was in the area,” Angel said.

“Not following me?”

“I don’t follow you.”

“Really? Because sometimes it seems like you follow me.” Buffy stepped back to look at the bandage.

“Why would I follow you?” Angel turned to face Buffy.

“You tell me. You appear, you save me, you leave. I’m glad you do,” Buffy clarified, “but, you know, I’d like to know why.”

Angel looked Buffy right in the eye. “Maybe I like you.”

Those words hit Buffy right in the chest, flowering into a blossom of possibility. Suddenly, she made a decision. She was going to go for it. Maybe she wasn’t gay, but she wanted to know more about Angel, and maybe wanting to know more also involved kissing.

“Maybe?” she asked, letting a flirty smile play across her face.

And then she heard the door start to open. She jumped up and grabbed up the first aid kit. “Get your shirt on,” she hissed, shoving the kit in a cabinet and running to the door. She peered around her mom for vampires, then spouted some explanation for why she was suddenly concerned about things that go bump in the night. She wasn’t really listening to herself or paying attention to the conversation, too busy trying to figure out what she was going to do about Angel and what would have happened if her mom hadn’t gotten home with Dawn just then.

Fortunately, she didn’t have to come up with too much of a ramble, but unfortunately, it was because Angel showed up, now fully clothed, including in her jacket, which definitely looked _way_ better on her than on Buffy. And then Buffy had to come up with an explanation for why Angel was there, which fortunately her mom bought, and then her mom went up to bed with just a, “Don’t stay up too late," and Dawn went up to her room, probably to stay up too late. Once they were alone again, Buffy and Angel moved back to the kitchen.

“You can’t leave,” Buffy said. “It’s not safe. You can sleep in my room.”

Angel’s eyes darted around. “I’m not sure--”

“I’m not letting you go back out there tonight,” Buffy said.

“I don’t want to get you in any more trouble.”

“And I don’t want you dead. Come on.” Buffy led Angel to the door. Angel tried to walk out, but Buffy pulled her back, whispering, “Wait.” She called out a false goodbye, then closed the door and practically pulled Angel up the stairs on tiptoes. Finally, she got Angel into her room, closed the door, and stopped. “Oh. Um, you’re wounded. You can have the bed. I’ll just-- I’ll just sleep on the floor.”

“I’ll take the floor,” Angel said. Buffy opened her mouth to protest, but Angel just said, “I’ve slept on worse.”

Buffy didn’t argue. “Want to go see if the vampires are gone? And, you know, keep your back turned while I change?”

Angel laughed and went to the window. “They’re gone,” she said, but she kept her back turned. Buffy grabbed her pajamas out of a drawer.

“You know,” she said, pulling off her pants. “I have extra pajamas. If you need some.”

“I doubt they’re my style,” Angel said.

“But they’re clean and comfy,” Buffy countered, one leg in her pajama pants.

Angel didn’t say anything.

“Whatever. Form over function, I guess.” Buffy shrugged and pulled off her shirt. “You know, it’s my job to fight those guys. What’s your excuse?”

“One Slayer isn’t enough.”

“You can say that again,” Buffy muttered, tossing her new shirt over her head. “Does your family know?”

“They’re dead,” Angel said.

Buffy froze in the middle of brushing her hair. She put the brush down and took a few steps towards Angel. “Was it vampires?”

Angel turned to face her. “Yes.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s old news now.” Angel shrugged. “But I have to do something.” She took a few careful steps closer to Buffy. “You even look pretty when you go to sleep.”

Buffy blushed and looked down. “Good night, Angel,” she said.

“Good night, Buffy.”

Buffy tossed a blanket and a pillow to the floor for Angel, then curled up in her bed. “Hey, Angel?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you snore?”

Angel laughed from the floor. “You’ll have to tell me.”

Buffy fell asleep wishing that Angel was in the bed with her.

The next morning, Buffy’s alarm went off, but she didn’t wake up to it; she woke up to Angel’s hand on her shoulder, shaking her.

“Oh, no,” Buffy said, shooting into a sitting position. “What time is it?” She checked the clock. “I’m late. Sorry, Angel, I have to go. Stay here? Please?”

“I can’t stay forever.”

“But you can stay today. Please, I want you to be safe.”

“Vampires can’t go out in the sunlight.”

“Okay, fine. You caught me. I just want to make sure you’re here when I get back. I want to have a conversation with you, Angel. A proper, real conversation.”

Angel smiled that infuriating smile. “I’ll be here.”

“Good.” Buffy grabbed her clothes and went into the bathroom to shower.

The day was long. Willow wanted to know all about Angel; Xander was mostly just appalled that Buffy had trusted him; and Giles just wanted her to train. When Buffy finally got home, she had to have dinner with her mom, where she rambled a ton and distracted her mother and Dawn and snuck half her food into a plastic bag for Angel. Finally, after far too long, Buffy was free to go upstairs.

She pushed the door open to find her room dark.

“Angel?” she whispered.

Angel stepped out of the shadows. “Oh. It’s you.”

Buffy flicked on the light. “Don’t scare me like that.”

“You could’ve been your mom.”

“I brought you dinner.” Buffy stepped forward and offered the bag. “Sorry it’s kind of plateless.”

Angel took the bag. “Thanks.”

“So, what did you do all day?”

Angel shrugged. “Read a little. And I was thinking--”

But Buffy had followed Angel’s gaze to the bookshelf, where her diary was sitting, right in full view. “You read my diary? Angel! That is one of the most private things in any girl’s life. Don’t you know that?”

She was vaguely aware of Angel trying to speak, but she was too busy panicking.

“You know, when I said you were hot, I could have meant anything. Hot means lots of things. Bad things sometimes. And-- and-- about your muscles? That was a completely neutral observation. Completely. And-- your eyes aren’t penetrating. They’re-- _bulgy_. Totally bulgy.”

Angel was smiling now, but Buffy wasn’t going to let her get away with that.

“And, for the record, that whole thing about being gay? The A there doesn’t even stand for Angel. It’s Anita, the charming exchange student at school, who is very hot and has way more muscles than you, and the whole fantasy thing was--”

Angel stepped forward. “Buffy. I didn’t read your diary. Your mom moved it when she was cleaning. I watched her from the closet. Ha! I was in the closet!” She laughed.

Buffy nodded. “Oh.” _Oh._ Oh _no._ “Good-- good pun.”

“But, I was thinking. I’m too old for you. We can’t be together.”

“Who said we were going to be together?” Buffy asked.

“Well, I kind of thought you were implying it.”

“I’m straight,” she said. “I think.”

“You think?” Angel asked.

“I’ve never liked a girl before,” Buffy admitted.

“But you do now?”

Buffy stepped closer. “I think I do.”

“I should go,” Angel said, stepping ever so slightly closer.

“You should.” Buffy was already leaning in.

“I’m still too old for you,” Angel murmured.

“Uh-huh.” Buffy’s eyes closed, and a moment later, Angel’s lips were on hers, and wow, they were really soft. _Super_ soft. And she kissed Buffy, and she kissed Buffy again, and Buffy pulled her closer, and she could hear Angel breathing hard, and Buffy had kissed boys before, but it was nothing compared to this, to the soft curves of Angel’s body, to her breath against Buffy’s mouth, and everything was perfect until suddenly everything changed. The shape of Angel’s mouth became imperceptibly different, and Buffy realized her teeth had become fangs, and her eyes flew open to see a vampire's face in front of her, and revulsion filled her every particle.

She screamed.

She screamed, and Angel opened the window and jumped through it. Buffy shut her mouth and watched Angel run away. The door opened behind her, and her mom’s voice came from the doorway.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Buffy said. “Thought I saw-- a shadow.”

“All right.” Her mom lingered by the window for a moment, then said, “Good night,” and left. Buffy went to bed, tossing and turning through the night.


	2. Chapter 2

Buffy didn’t tell Giles and Xander about kissing Angel. She told Willow, though, when they were walking into school.

“I was kissing her,” Buffy said. “Or, you know, she was kissing me. And it was going okay, and then suddenly her teeth weren't human teeth anymore. It was super weird.”

Willow shuddered. “Eugh. But, before that, you know, when you were kissing… was it good?”

Buffy smiled. “Yeah. It was really good.”

“But, then, vampire. Ew.”

Buffy laughed. “Yeah.”

“You’re going to have to tell Giles,” Willow said. “You know that, right?”

“Yeah, I know,” Buffy sighed. “I just don’t want to tell about the kissing.”

“Maybe you can say she ate something really, really good,” Willow said. “And it made her lose control of her face.”

“Come on, Will,” Buffy said. “You have to know that’s awful.”

“Yeah, but you don’t have anything better.”

“I’ll just say she got angry about, I don’t know, thinking about fighting those vamps or something. It was a pretty intense fight.”

“Good job, Buffy,” Willow said. “That’s almost believable.”

“So, good enough for Giles?” Buffy asked.

“Yep.”

And, as it turned out, it was. Giles asked a ton of questions, but Buffy wasn’t forced to tell about the kiss, and, really, was it important? Not really. As long as Giles knew Angel was a vampire.

This meant that Giles spent hours looking for mentions of Angel in old texts, and finally, he came up to Buffy, Willow, and Xander in the library, holding some books that were much more ragged than his usual fare, which was really saying something.

“I’ve had trouble finding Angel in historical texts,” he said, “but then I remembered the Watcher diaries.”

“Oh!” Willow exclaimed. “Like-- like the diary you thought she read and then she hadn’t and--” She quieted. “Sorry, Giles.”

“It’s quite all right, Willow,” Giles said. “Anyway, this diary mentions a vampire from Ireland over two hundred years ago called Angeline, the one with the angelic face.”

Buffy glanced at Willow. “Sure got that right.”

“Is that really relevant right now?” Xander asked. 

“Quite right,” Giles said. “Now, Buffy, you may not have seen, but did Angel have a tattoo behind her right shoulder?”

“Yes. A bird or something.”

“Wait,” Xander said. “You saw her shirtless?”

“She was wounded.”

“Was she cute?”

Buffy glared at him.

Willow jumped in. “So, she’s been around for a while.”

“For a human,” Giles said. “It’s actually a fairly short amount of time for a vampire. However, she made up for it by being incredibly bloodthirsty.” He flipped through the diary. “She leaves Ireland, wreaks havoc on Europe for several decades. But then, about eighty years ago, something strange happens. Angeline leaves Europe for America, shuns other vampires, lives alone. There’s no record of her in Sunnydale, but there’s little record of her anywhere in that time.”

“So, she  _ is _ good, then,” Willow said, exchanging a look with Buffy. “I mean, she could be worse, right? On the vampire evil scale, she’s pretty low, compared to someone who’s, you know, killing and maiming every night.”

“It may not be recorded, Willow,” Giles said, “but Angel could still be dangerous. You may have to slay her.”

“But what if she does turn out to be good?” Willow asked. “We should make sure of that first, right?”

“What, you like this girl that much?” Xander asked. “Come on. You can find better friends than a  _ vampire _ .”

“I--” Buffy was cut off by a gasp from Cordelia, who had materialized behind them.

“Not vampire, umpire!” Xander corrected himself. “I meant-- you can find better friends than an umpire, Buffy. I mean, everyone hates them!”

But Cordelia was already marching off to someone else, and the conversation was derailed as Buffy, Xander, Willow, and Giles watched Cordelia yell about a dress. 

Buffy couldn’t stop thinking about Angel all day. Did she  _ really _ like Angel? Was there some kind of vampire magic that made her think she was gay? Had she never liked Angel to begin with? What was going to happen next? Was she going to be able to slay Angel if she had to? Did she even want to? What if Angel was actually good? What if it was just weird vampire magic making her think Angel was actually good?

These questions built up inside her until she was studying with Willow in the library after school. They were pressing so hard against her inside that when Willow asked her about the Civil War, all she could say was, “You mean when Angel was already, like, a hundred years old?”

“Are we going to study, or is this going to be crush time?” Willow asked. There was a pause where Buffy said nothing. “Because sometimes, I imagine that Xander is going to grab me and kiss me right on the lips.”

Buffy laughed. “You want him, you gotta go get him.”

“I guess,” Willow said. “But when I think about that, all the butterflies in my belly feel like they’re going to come out of my belly and then I don’t really want to do it anymore.” She leaned forward. “But I can live vicariously through you, can’t I? Tell me more about Angel.”

“Sometimes going and getting someone ends in finding out they’re a vampire,” Buffy sighed. “I just can’t believe she’s that old. Imagine living for that long. And-- oh, God. She’s probably fallen in love with a million people. And  _ vampires _ . Willow, there’s no way she actually likes me.”

“Can vampires like people?” Willow asked. “I thought they only liked blood and murdering the innocent.”

“I don’t know,” Buffy said. “I’m no expert. I just kill them. It’s pretty simple when I’m not busy falling in love with them.”

Willow’s eyes grew wide. “You’re in love with Angel?”

Before Buffy got the chance to answer, someone pushed through the library doors. It was one of the office secretaries. 

“Is one of you Buffy Summers?”

Buffy stood up. “Yeah, that’s me.”

“There’s a call from your sister in the office.”

“Okay,” Buffy said. She followed the secretary through the hall to the office, where the secretary handed her the phone. Dawn’s voice crackled over the line.

“Buffy, I’m really worried, Mom had an accident and I don’t know what to do and we’re at the hospital and you have to come please.” Dawn’s voice cracked. “I’m scared, Buffy.”

Fear filled Buffy, but she didn’t let it out. She was too busy switching to protective big-sister mode. “Okay,” she said. “Okay. I’m glad you called 911 and got her to the hospital. I’m going to be right there, okay? Maybe I’ll even have Willow with me. Do you know what happened?”

“Can I tell you at the hospital? Please? I want you to get here fast.”

“Okay. I’ll be there in fifteen minutes, okay?”

“Okay. Bye.”

“See you soon.” Buffy slammed the phone onto the receiver, cracking the plastic. Without a word, she ran out of the office and back to the library, where she started shoving her books into her backpack.

“What’s happening?” Willow asked.

“My mom’s had an accident. I have to go meet Dawn at the hospital.” Buffy looked up at Willow. “Come with me?”

“Of course,” Willow said, shoving her own books into her backpack. It was less than a minute before they were both walking out of the library, completely silent.

Ten minutes later, they were walking into the hospital. They saw Dawn in the waiting room right away, looking much too young to be there alone, and Buffy immediately ran up to her.

“What happened?” she asked.

“I don’t know,” Dawn said. “Really, I don’t. Your friend came over, and she was talking to Mom in the kitchen, and I was just reading my book, but then I heard Mom scream, and I came in and the girl ran away, and then Mom was just lying on the floor and her neck was bleeding, and--”

“Dawn, it’s okay,” Buffy said, exchanging a worried look with Willow. “Which friend?”

“I don’t remember her name.” Dawn wrung her hands. “Sorry.”

“What did she look like?” Buffy pressed. 

“She was blonde,” Dawn said. “And she was wearing a school uniform or something And then after she left, there was this weird girl with short hair who helped me call 911 and get to the hospital. She said she knew you, but she wouldn’t stay.”

“Angel,” Buffy breathed. “Okay. Is Mom okay?”

“Yeah. They think she fell on a barbecue fork or something. I think you can go see her, but you should tell the doctor first. They get annoyed if you try to go see people without telling them.”

“Okay,” Buffy said. She pulled Dawn into a hug. “Thanks, Dawn.” She released Dawn from the hug and took her hand. “Come on. Let’s go see Mom.” She turned to Willow. “You want to come too?”

“Shouldn’t we call Giles?” Willow asked. “He’ll want to know.”

“And Xander,” Buffy said. “Don’t let him miss out.”

“Why are you calling your librarian?” Dawn asked. “Does he know Mom?”

“He might be able to look up what happened,” Buffy said. “Come on, Dawn. Willow will take care of the phone calls.”

Ten minutes later, Buffy and Dawn were standing in a hotel room, watching their mother breathe. A minute after that, and Willow came up, and ten minutes after that, Giles showed up, and a minute after that, Xander appeared in the doorway. The doctor had told Buffy that her mom was going to be fine, that her blood count was a little low, whatever that meant, and so now all Buffy had to do was figure out who had bitten her mom without letting Dawn know that something was awry.

She left Dawn standing with Willow and Xander by her mom’s side and pulled Giles out into the hall.

“Dawn says my friend came over to help me with homework,” Buffy said. 

“Which friend?” Giles asked.

“Apparently a bloodsucky one,” Buffy answered. “I think it was Darla. But there’s something else.”

“Yes?” Giles asked.

“I think Angel helped her after.”

“How do you mean?”

“Dawn says a weird girl with short hair helped her get Mom to the hospital. Apparently she said she knew me, but she couldn’t stay.”

Giles nodded. 

“So what does that mean, Giles? Is Angel good?”

“Perhaps,” Giles said. “At the very least, you should go after Darla.”

“She hurt my mom,” Buffy said. She paused. “I’m going to check the Bronze. Seems to be the cool vampire hangout right now.”

“All right.”

“If Mom wakes up, tell her I went home to get her a blanket or something.”

“Of course.”

Buffy walked through the hospital, down the stairs, and out into the night, and then she ran back to the school, where she grabbed a stake and a crossbow from the library. From there, it was barely a two-minute run to the Bronze. When Buffy got there, she took a moment to catch her breath, and then pushed at the door. It was locked; the Bronze was closed. She looked around. There was a broken window on the second level. Could she make it?

She jumped on top of a dumpster, then jumped and grabbed the windowsill. She pulled herself up, rolling through the window and landing on the balcony within. She crept along the edge of the balcony, moving down the stairs. Once at the bottom, she swept her crossbow across the room, glancing around for bodies.

She saw none.

“I know you’re in here,” she hummed, although really, she knew nothing of the sort. But if  _ she  _ had been a vampire, she would’ve been hanging out in the creepy closed nightclub.

Angel appeared out of the darkness by the dance floor. “Do you?”

“I do now,” she said. “Where’s Darla?”

“Don’t want to kill me? Now you’ve found my secret?”

“Not everything is about you,” Buffy answered. “Dawn said you helped her.”

“Yes.”

“So right now you seem like a secondary threat. Where is she?”

“Right here.” Darla’s voice came from behind Buffy. “Sure you don’t want her, Angel?”

“I won’t kill her,” Angel said.

Darla advanced on Buffy. “Excellent.”

Buffy raised her crossbow. Darla grinned at that and raised two guns. Buffy’s hands trembled as she shot the bow. The arrow landed in Darla’s chest, but it wasn’t good enough.

“Close, but no heart,” Darla purred. She shot Angel. Buffy gasped. “Don’t worry,” Darla said, “bullets can’t hurt vampires. They can hurt like Hell, though.”

Buffy reloaded her crossbow and shot it again, but Darla had jumped out of the way already and was now shooting at Buffy, who had no choice but to dedicate her efforts to continued movement. She ran around Darla, keeping her crossbow pointed in Darla’s direction, as Darla fired shot after shot. Finally, Buffy had no choice but to crouch behind the pool table, debating her next move. 

Darla was getting closer.

Buffy jumped up, getting a good shot in before Darla could return the favor, but she missed again. She held her breath, waiting for Darla’s next shot, but instead, she saw Angel, who had crept up behind Darla, shove one of Buffy’s arrows into Darla’s back. Darla turned to dust and fell, and Angel stared at the space where she had been for a long time.

Buffy stood and took a deep breath.

“Okay. So now I need to know why I shouldn’t kill you.”

Angel shrugged. “There’s no reason you shouldn’t. I killed lots of people. I killed my family. I killed everyone I met for years.”

“So why didn’t you kill my mom?” Buffy asked. “Why didn’t you kill me?”

“I’m different now. I killed a girl, and her family cursed me with a soul.”

“What does that mean? Vampires don’t have souls?”

“Yes. With a soul, I feel remorse for all the things I’ve done. Without, I can kill with abandon. With, I can care.”

“So you care about me?” Buffy asked, stepping closer.

“I care about everybody,” Angel said. “That’s my curse.”

“Some curse.”

“It’s worse than it sounds.”

“I’m glad I don’t have to kill you,” Buffy said.

“Me, too,” Angel agreed. 

“So, um, see you around?” Buffy asked, backing away.

“I’ll be lurking,” Angel said, a little bit of laughter in her eyes.

Buffy went back to the hospital, where her mom was awake and doing well, and said she hadn’t been able to find the best blanket, but it turned out that it was okay because the doctors were going to let her mom go home. Giles insisted on driving the Summers family home, since Dawn hadn’t been able to take a car to the hospital, and Joyce was doing well, but probably not well enough to walk. 

The instant they got home, Buffy went to bed and fell into a deep sleep.

A couple of nights later, she was at the Bronze, sitting around a little table with Xander and Willow, and the subject turned around to Angel.

“It’s kind of creepy, how she lurks around,” Xander said. “Don’t you think that’s kind of creepy?”

“She saved my mom,” Buffy said. “And she seems cool. It’s not her fault she’s a vampire.”

“Have you heard from her?” Willow asked.

“No,” Buffy said. “But, I don’t know.” She shrugged. “In some ways it feels like she’s still watching over me.”

Willow raised her eyebrows, her gaze fixated on something over Buffy’s shoulder. 

“She is,” Willow said. “In the way of that she’s kind of right over there.”

Buffy followed Willow’s gaze to where Angel was, indeed, standing, off in a dark corner.

“I’ll be back,” she said, slipping off her stool. 

Angel was standing completely still, staring right at Buffy as Buffy walked up to her. She seemed to be in some sort of daze, but she shook herself out of it to say, “I just wanted to make sure you were okay, and your mother.”

“We’re fine,” Buffy said. “Thanks, by the way. For helping Dawn.”

“It’s no big deal,” Angel said.

“How are you?” 

“If I don’t get shot or stabbed for a while, I’ll be okay,” Angel said. Her face grew more serious. “Look. We can’t--”

“I know,” Buffy said. “I mean, you’re, like, two hundred and twenty-four years older than me.”

Angel laughed. 

“And we’re both girls.”

“Nothing wrong with that,” Angel protested.

“Not for you. My mom would  _ kill _ me.”

Buffy was sure she almost caught a smile on Angel’s face.

“I just have to walk away from all this,” Angel said. 

“I know,” Buffy assured her. “Me, too.” 

She should have left then. She knew she was supposed to be leaving. But she just kept looking at Angel, right into her eyes, and she was trapped.

“One of us has to go here,” she laughed, a little nervously.

“I know,” Angel said.

And then Buffy’s hand was on Angel’s arm, pulling her a little bit further into the shadows, and then Angel’s arm was around Buffy’s waist, and then Buffy was standing on tiptoe to kiss Angel, and neither of them were leaving at all, and Buffy knew the whole world could see them if they tried, and she knew Willow probably  _ was _ trying, but it was okay because Angel was the best kisser in the entire world, and that was worth it.

And then it was over, and Angel was wincing, and Buffy felt terrible.

“I’m sorry,” she said.

“It’s just--”

“Painful. I know.” Buffy hesitated on the balls of her feet. “See you around.” 

Walking away was the hardest thing she’d ever done.

When she got back to the table, Willow was having a hard time keeping a grin off her face, and Xander was trying to figure out why. Buffy joined them in laughter, but she couldn’t stop thinking about when she might see Angel again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love writing a character with superstrength. Yeah, Buffy totally just ran a mile and pulled herself up through a window while holding a crossbow. That's totally plausible.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for all the dialogue lifted from the show in this one. I'm trying to vary it, and it'll get more and more different as time goes on.


End file.
